I’m watching The Office, the season of the Valentine’s Day episode and where Idris Elba shows up and Michael & Pam quit.
late-night dog walk
waddling beneath cars
thought about leaving
a trail of grapes
back to the wood
and in the morning
a hawk bracing the cold
turns to me atop the Caution –
Children Playing sign
coyote races me out of the neighborhood
I volunteered to serve food to the workers at Ground Zero after 9/11. There were dogs trained to find living people. The people who worked with the dogs became worried because the day after day of not finding anyone was beginning to depress the animals. So the people took turns hiding in the rubble so that every now and then a dog could find one of them to be able to carry on.
–Sigourney Weaver, Esquire interview 2009
The boys being too loud at dinner. Giving a house tour with the architect and FJ. Touching my cheek. The dogs behind the fence and the woman who can’t stop itching. The table made from railroad ties.
Fighting with AS. The fox being dragged under the car. The lions showing up and they won’t let me out of the car to help. Scaling the wall back to my room and pretending to be asleep. Someone throws a spider on me.
I’m sitting in traffic and a trailer full of different birds pulls up next to me. People are standing on a platform inside doing yoga. Sunlight filters through one of the girl’s hair, pineappled on top of her head. I get out to talk to them. Chickens, turkeys but also owls, hawks and one bald eagle. They’re going to be euthanized. I want to write about the girl, so I go back to my car for a pen. A man is stealing my purse and I chase him to a coffee shop where Demosthenians are speaking. He says I should be happy to be here.
Emily’s mother smoking and asking me to not mention the death of her father. Someone pushed Nanna down the stairs.
Mexican tacos at the food hall and Mae has returned.
Prague, forgetting my jacket. Tunnels and apple pickers. Security and the man with his finger in my mouth. Crying. Train over the ocean and snow in Colorado.
O and her mom talking about Dacula. Sneaking back to the house before my flight.
God as a woman and perfectionist. The White House as her pearl.
A new town. Ants on my jacket the next morning. Driving Madre around. Who was the boy?
Dismantling the gun and then going to dinner with Dad, Jake & Mom.
Kittens covered in fleas. The flayed man (GoT). Katie’s portrait on a mountain. Crashing work outfits.
Writing about how to be alone. Interviewing the singer. Kingdom Hearts. Glassblowing and trying to quick-dry the wax.
High school game. O and Wildcat handing out rewards. GSLT. AS playing rugby. Smelling all the candles at the indie store.
Throwing stress-ball baseballs as hard as I can. Orchestra playing. Desire going on a date with the famous guy (noon boon loon something) in the hotel. Taking the elevator to the top floor and turning around.
Basketball/volleyball tournament in Philly but I fall behind and can’t find the gym. Goggles.
My baby boy. Trying to keep him afloat.
Bad times at the Aloft. Parking the wrong way in the lot.
Exploring the abandoned tourboat. Dog guards biting me. My dog named Nicotine (Nic). Hammerheads in the water (you hesitate, you die).
Target and a polar bear. Buying a card for Cait.
Watching the neighbors play soccer.
happy hour hive around the bar
rattle tap tap
a flare of burning rosemary
(the aesthetic) leans along the rim
waitress with the web sashed on her back
rain starting; people underneath the window dart across the streets
man abandons his umbrella
I should’ve remembered how loud it was, how young
couples above their own phones, corners aglow in blue light
sleeping to sirens
talking about Schumer’s glasses, arrests at the Kavanaugh protest
catching myself saying “everyone takes an Uber when it rains”
as a woman pushes an empty shopping cart through the crosswalk
flaming tiki bowls and talking about business names ending with “__________& Daughters”
we’re across the street from the Ethiopian place we ate Christmas dinner, years ago now
Bought a flight to Prague. Booked a reservation at a Michelin restaurant. Will consider flying the dogs over and becoming a foodie tour guide.