Dreams III

Work and the office is in an old house. FJ and the guys at Smoothie King. Flat tire and going to Costco with Jake. Storm and running from the lightning. Olsa? getting hit. Fire at the truck.

Aquarium with Padre and the cousins. The gator being shown around. All the frogs making bubbles across a plane.

National Geographic award ceremony. Going up to DC to surprise everyone. The hotel room door won’t lock.

Defending Bucky in the courtyard from the honey vendor.

Work at the old house again. Everyone has changed into formal attire (bow tie).

Setting up a hot air balloon with Madre. Iguanas between the rocks at the lake. Ants on my feet.

I can talk with the sea, but Madre drowns and I can’t stop it.

The city has flooded and two brothers are running from Chigurh. Hiding in a house with strawberries under the water. One of the boy freezes.

Concert (away from the flood?) and I have to get a bra fitting.

Sitting with Austin and Jake F watching kids play football. Seagulls hovering.

Water in the house: dolphin, manatee stingray swimming around the kids. Chuck in the garage and the dogs trying to get loose.


Conference room. Telling everyone Troy is leaving again.

At a new house with C&P. P building a leaning tower of firewood. Fighting with the roommate and remembering a video IT sent me (déjà vu).

Asking everyone if they’re happy with their lives. The spiral staircase, climbing down to avoid the rush. Finding FJ.

Children running from a monster. Adopting a girl who won’t speak to me. The roses dying in all of the rooms of Nanna’s house.

Dad moving in with Martha.

Business with new investors and I have to sign off on everything. Setting up a new office in a shared building with AS in D.C. Having to find an Airbnb out toward the temple. Getting mugged in the tunnel, they tried to take my phone, purse, and cardboard from the bookcases.

At the Lawrenceville house, dogs barking at the basement door. Basketball drills, but with acrobatics. Abbie’s father asking me about fishing. Talking about the split from Mill Creek.

Traveling through the snow with Wildcat to the concert. Trying to cross the train tracks with Jax. Cait in her Prius. Changes on how we track data in Inpathy.

MIT, solving serial killers’ astrological signs. Superman?

Foxes in the yard and trying to find Renny.

Jake died. Can’t figure out how to tell anyone.

H’s family house, canoeing on the river. Swimming from the snapping turtle. The baby animals on the lawn.

Coming back from ATL and driving the moving truck. Angry with C&P for not trusting my driving. JHT is there and we stop at a fancy Italian restaurant. I’m a mess and I don’t want to go in, but Logan’s father finds me a dress. Excited about the wedding. Visiting the art school where I mess up the eyebrow on a painting. Visiting the zoo and having the otters swim up to us at the fountain. The angry owl protecting its young won’t let us pass through the door. Going back through a tunnel and everything has iced over, the otters hanging like icicles from the ceiling.

Old Nashville with Austin. Kaitlin and Dana in a new house. Walking into a frat house because of the boy making funny faces through the porthole window. Finding a Gabby look-alike and crying.

Work in the old house again. Or school? Talking about NPS for providers.

Human agility competition at Nanna’s house. Huck and Renny running loose. I don’t dodge an arrow fast enough.

Playing Charlize Theron in a movie about PTSD. Her father is the FBI director. Hiding in cupboards. A wedding gone wrong.

Flirting with the game guy.

Two little boys try to mug me.

The house next to the river (Making a Murderer guy) and MMB. 4-wheeling in the truck.

Standardized test and telling Padre I hate him.

Cloudbreak retreat and fighting on the plane.

Camping trip with young Pecos and Athens crew. Meeting up with Mom, Dad and Jake.

The thief and his adopted children.

Walking around Athens with the dogs. Laying in the sunshine.

Elementary school with dogs and Austin. Building rockets. Hiding from the principal (former director at Travel Channel).

Crying boys. The dining hall. Jadzack and others. Sliding down the hill.

Kids running away from abusive father (Clive Owen). Killing the snakes and pouring salt on the plants. Getting to the police station and escaping out the window (like My Absolute Darling).

Negotiating pricing for Cloudbreak. Camping with Wildcat. H’s house in the woods, talking about getting a new puppy. Camille and Annie there. Bathing under the trees.

Skating through the city, broken arm. Sewing up the cast with green thread.


season of the ladybug

this was back before they all died and I packed everything up, split and wrapped for the moving truck crying on the kitchen floor onto the newspaper and champagne glasses we never used

158 in Athens

They took down the hemlock and I dreamt they stripped the other trees too. The back was left with nothing but raspberry pulp and seed. The quaint line of the forgotten greenhouse, finally gone. The weeds tugged from the fence. Nothing left of the ivy-covered everything. My wild home, gone.

images from a Saturday night drive

ground hog waddling back toward Hallelujah Farm
rusted biplane out in a yard
horses grazing from the plants on the porch, a bay and a paint
calf and donkey considering each other
kids gathering at the old gas station
new black calf trying to catch up to its mother
deer (of course) along the shadow line of trees
Indian temple, stucco repair
a blue heeler that watches me pass
black plastic bags across a field, pinned up like men
hummingbird at the drive-thru
dogs barking at the rabbit next door


The title came to me driving home. From the night, slipping through the open window. Like someone had whispered it to me. Orion always looking down.

Future essays on saving the world

– nuclear energy needs a rebranding

– the man who killed 40,000 elephants, an examination of holistic land management and regret

– what should I do with all these grocery bags?

– mycelium myriad, or why I’m going to buy a mushroom farm

– community recycling initiatives, a reminder that my brother is the engineer of the family

– but the sea turtles! a reasonable quick guide for plastic straw reduction during shitty meals at Carrabba’s

– plant grass, get water

– plastic-eating algae and a reason to talk to my ex

– maybe don’t eat at Chick-fil-A anymore

– keep on keeping on: a career in transforming behavioral healthcare access


late at night
reading a book and the passage rearranges itself into your name,
always a question mark at the end.
I never could read The Bell Jar
or listen to Fever 103 again.

remember how you squeezed my hand when they pushed the needle in? you left the shop with wings and never looked back.

I still see the green of your eyes.