I want to do everything wrong just once

A light shines through my eyelids
and the room is spinning
it’s a star falling in my hands
Isn’t this how babies are made
only hurts a little
I’ll never smoke again
(promise mother)

I’m thankful for silent peeing
mother snoring in the bed –
in the next room
I’m sleeping under the blanket
I lost my virginity on top of
(sorry mother)
Clowns are such silly monsters
as I turn all the lights on

There’s a drug called flakka
I’ve never tried (promise mother)
Once I cut up a poem and bled on it
(sorry mother)
that didn’t help so I tried to glue it back
together with snow the snow
melted and no one likes slush
No one would take them in
all these homeless bloody words
(please mother)

I saw a picture that proves the egg came first
mymother mother’s mother mommamom
it had nothing to do with parenting
only reptiles
these are all weird poems
and by weird I mean dead
and I don’t have any crystals

Did you know Roald wanted Charlie to be black?
there’s a joke here my father (ex ex ex sorry mother) would tell
lodged in my childhood sweettooth
dipping licked fingers into the sugar bowl
he was here yesterday touched the carpet
didn’t touch you
and left

Your hand is bleeding and it’s
my fault (sorry mother)

There are babies swimming underwater
fat little roll babies eyes open
kicking their fat-little-roll legs out
fat little roll baby butts floating
they’ll grow up afraid of pools,
light coming through windows,
fish bowls,
slick edges